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I asked, “Why won’t she accept my help?”

What could be the reason?A long-time woman friend of mine is going through a really rough time. I’ve prayed for her over the years, but she still hasn’t chosen to believe in Jesus. Instead, she says she has “her own way of praying and meditating to all the gods including Jesus.”

She’s an older woman who hasn’t been in the workforce for many, many years. And right now she is facing some serious financial pressures. She needs a sizable number of dollars within the next several weeks.

She came to visit me the other night to ask for my advice. She said, “I don’t know where else to turn.” She wanted to know if I could help her find a way to earn the funds she needed. I was happy to offer my help because God has gifted me in being able to find a variety of ways to earn an income!

So we started talking and I began sharing simple solutions so she could start earning the funds she needed now. Plus, in the long-run it would put her on a path to earn in an ongoing way if she desired.

I presented an idea and an easy plan, and she figured out a way it wouldn’t work for her. So I would show her another way. And again, she found a a way for it not to work for her. And this went on and on for about 90 minutes.

I kept saying to myself, “Why won’t she let me help her?” The solutions I presented are proven. They can work! I had used them myself over the years. And I’ve seen other people being successful with them. And I knew my friend had the ability to have them work for her!

But there was something inside of her that kept her from taking that first step and accepting the help. So finally we stopped talking about solutions and I just told her, “When you’re ready, let me know and I’ll do what I can to help you.”

So she left and still has the burden of needing to make the money. I continue to pray for her and sincerely hope she finds a way to get what she needs. And I’m really sorry she wouldn’t let me help her, because I can. I’ve helped so many others before. And I can help her, too.

So here is the point of this story . . . bear with me a bit longer:

A few months back, I encountered a serious problem with the last rental property I own (I used to have several, before God called me back to ministry). The renters stopped paying rent, wouldn’t communicate with me, and finally I had to evict them, which cost precious time and thousands of dollars in legal fees.

When I regained possession of the property (once a lovely three-bedroom home), I found it in deplorable conditions inside and out! It looked more like a dump and a slum dwelling. My insurance wouldn’t cover the $15,000 or more to rehab the home because they said it was “tenant vandalism” and it wasn’t covered on the policy.

So last night I received a call from a man I don’t even know. He said he lived near the property and realized I had been left with a disaster. We talked about it a bit, and then he offered to get a work party together to clean up the exterior.

I found myself resisting his “unmerited help.” I told the man I would call him back. When I hung up the phone I immediately prayed. And just as quickly the Lord said to me in my spirit, “You’ve been asking for My help with the problem for weeks. I am providing for you. Accept the offer. He is part of my solution for you!”

Then I realized, I had been resisting the help in the same way my friend was resisting help. That same “I can handle this on my own” attitude was in me! And the Lord was probably asking, “Why won’t she accept my help?”

So I experienced one of those “teachable moments” from the Lord. I realized that my resistance was really just pride showing up. And so I received the correction from my loving Father . . . and I made a plan to call the man today and accept his help to put together a work party to clean up the property.

The Bible says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

I don’t know for sure why my friend wouldn’t accept my help. But it’s likely fear or pride based. Just the same way I resisted the offer for help. I thank the Lord for helping me see this remnant of pride that was still in me and I am grateful for His instructions. Because now I am on my way, with my hand in His hand, to solve this property issue and bring it closer to full restoration!

I hope this story helps you to look for ways that you too might be resisting help from the Lord. Do you have challenges that you really need solved, but for some reason you’re resisting?

Examine your heart. What’s going on inside of you. Seek God’s wisdom to show you. And then accept His correction so you can move toward the success He wants you to have!

Be blessed!

3 Comments Post a comment
  1. Maggie Wige #

    Good words, Susan. We often rob others of the blessing they get from helping us. The Bible tells to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt us in due time, casting all our care upon Him, for He cares for us. 1 Pet. 5:6-7. It is humbling to know we can’t fix it or find our own solution. That’s what humility is. Falling before God and admitting to Him and ourselves that we have a mess, don’t have the solution and need His help. God answers prayer through people. Who are we to refuse the help people offer?

    April 1, 2014
  2. Susan, that was such an inspiring story.
    It just continues to confirm my believe in walking with The Lord and placing my trust in Him in all matters. Amen.
    Also, accepting help when needed for we can’t always do everything ourselves. That’s a difficult thing to do when naturally I want to be self sufficient. Praying to The Lord Jesus Christ to make me humble. Amen.

    March 31, 2014
  3. Tasha Stowell #

    I can definitely relate to being in both situations. I have often wondered why people won’t accept help and seem to want to wallow in their mess. We have had a really rough time for years now in many areas of our life including finances. I have had to humble myself a lot and accept help numerous times. It is hard but my kids come before my pride. I have prayed many times for God to show me where I need to humble myself and seek help. I would love for you to share ways of earning extra money. Our financial situation is pretty dire and made worse over the weekend by being robbed. They took my husbands car and thousands of dollars of gardening equipment, it’s covered by insurance but we don’t have the money for the excess.

    March 31, 2014

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